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08/26/2021
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WorkScoop
El Toxico goes dark, while investigators probe why APT Dormant Hound paw prints were spotted outside a local firewall. Discarded notes detail schemes by White Hat Trolling LLC. And a threat from an old adversary.

'El Toxico' strikes CNN in latest setback for network

White Hat Trolling LLC, the intelligence firm that has revealed threats like APT BAYLESS (aka Gregory L. Otto) and covert police operations like Jeff Stone’s whole deal, announced Friday that its founder, Sean Lyngaas, is moving on. Lyngaas has reportedly taken a job with an Atlanta-based vendor of loud breaking news alerts and Stanley Tucci travel documentaries. Reached for comment, a White Hat Trolling executive said that “while we’re looking forward to whatever Sean does in the future, we’re even more excited we can finally move some of our IPA budget back into our core business of brutal exploits.” Good luck, Wolf Blitzer.


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A legacy in Durham

As his career continues to evolve, Lyngaas also has entered a new phase in his relationship with his alma mater. This week Duke University announced, after a long evaluation process, that the journalist is actually its most distinguished alumnus. "We looked at a lot of prominent people who have graduated from this institution, and we figured out that virtually all of them were charlatans, cranks, nitwits, grifters, chumps, perjurers, knuckleheads, egotists, buffoons and blowhards," said a Duke official who asked not to be named. "Lyngaas, despite his many flaws, does not fit directly into any of those categories. We still can't figure out why he stuck around." In a move typical for the university, the search committee completely overlooked Lyngaas' wife, who is absolutely a better person and also a Duke graduate. Coach K sheds a tear.


Takoma Park man caught scheming new nicknames

Sean Lyngaas was busted contemplating how to change the affectionate nicknames of his CyberScoop colleagues to taunts for when he would join CNN, according to notes obtained from his Takoma Park home. One page had "SGT. STONE" at the top, but scratched out. "Sgt. Tissue Paper? Private Stone?" the notes asked. Next to "FAUX OUTRAGE," also crossed through, he scrawled "More like Faux Journalist amiright?" he asked, then answered himself, "Right you are, Sean." One notebook page, labeled "STARK LOBSTER," was devoted to things he'd say or think when trying to scoop Tim Starks. "Have a little lemon and butter, Mopey Lobster," read one rejoinder.

Hurtful stuff.


APT Dormant Hound goes dark

U.S.-based threat actor APT DORMANT HOUND has gone silent, analysts say, following a heavy lunch of leftover human food and treats from the mailman. Whether the notorious hacking group is on a temporary reprieve to scan the latest cyber defenses, re-fitting its nap hour or aiming to mitigate the stress of a new sibling remains unclear. Last observed in Takoma Park, the notorious schemer is best known for indiscriminate attacks against enemies both real and perceived. While the circumstances remain murky, sources reveal to CyberScoop that paw prints were visible outside a recent victim's firewall. #FreeWillis


Tweet Of The Day

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Click through to play a final message from an old adversary ... Nightmare fuel, indeed.


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